Golf - The Other Four-Letter Word
by CalicoHawk
<p>Have you played Golf?&#160; It&#8217;s a lot of fun, and quite stressful all at the same time.&#160; Unless your name is posted on one of the leader boards at major golf tournaments, that is.&#160; It&#8217;s called &#8220;golf&#8221; because all of the other four-letter words were taken.&#160; I started playing the game when Tiger Woods started making a name for himself.&#160; A man I worked with at the time was a semi-pro, and &#8220;loaned&#8221; me one of his old drivers.&#160; The next weekend, I went to the local driving range.&#160; My first drive was what my uncle would have called a &#8220;joenailer.&#8221;&#160; The ball went straight toward the 300-yard fence.&#160; That was the best shot I have ever made.</p> <p>I made a hole-in-one on a local course two years later.&#160; I had birdied number five and was set up in the number six tee-box.&#160; Six was a par four dog-leg left.&#160; I knew I could get close to the green with my &#8220;Big Bertha,&#8221; so I stepped up to the ball.&#160; Something went wrong on my back swing, and when I hit the ball, it took off directly in front of me, toward number five green.&#160; It was one of those shots you hope nobody is around to see.&#160; The power of the driver sent the ball well past the five green, but it hit a pine tree dead center and headed back at me.&#160; It hit the green, bounced high into the air, landed three inches from the cup and rolled in.&#160; A hole-in-one.&#160; I know&#8230;from six tee-box to five cup is not how the game is played, but hey&#8230;I hit the ball and it went into the cup.&#160; Nobody was watching, and nobody got hurt.&#160;</p> <p>On the back-nine the same day, my ball landed to the&#160;right of the fairway in pine tags after a fairly good drive off the number twelve tee-box.&#160; The tree responsible for those pine tags was directly between the ball and the green, 60 yards away.&#160; I took out my five-iron and decided to just try to get back on the fairway.&#160; Something went wrong on my back swing, (You can&#8217;t blame the caddy when you play alone.) and I sliced the ball directly toward the green. &#160;After three bounces, the ball came to rest ten feet away from the cup.&#160; Number twelve was a par four, and I was on the green in two.&#160; An Eagle was very possible.&#160; Have you ever had the &#8220;yips?&#8221;&#160; It&#8217;s a nervous affliction similar to buck fever.&#160; I sunk the ball for a bogey.</p> <p>I am obviously not a very good golfer.&#160; But there is always one shot that keeps my hopes up.&#160; I think it must be that way with most players.&#160; That one shot out of a regulation par 72 gives us hope that one day we will hit two such shots.</p> <p>So why do I play Golf if I&#8217;m basically wasting green fees?&#160; It&#8217;s the competition.&#160; I&#8217;m competing against myself and the course.&#160; Even in a foursome, every golfer is on his or her own.&#160; It&#8217;s a group sport played individually.&#160; And I&#8217;m still trying to beat my last score.&#160; (My lowest score was a 59&#8230;on the back nine.)</p> <p>I did find a good way to reduce my score, though.&#160; After the fourth lie, I pick up the ball and move to the next tee-box.&#160; See ya at the nineteenth hole.</p>
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